Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ambush
It was raining cats and dogs this afternoon. Attended a meeting for almost an hour and it was still raining when the meeting ended. My coursemate, MS, asked whether I would follow her and other girls for dinner. I nodded and we decided to go for dinner at Mid Valley. Met up with the other girls there and only manage to come to an agreement on where to have dinner after a long deliberation. As usual, we gossiped about everything while waiting for our food. Everyone of us were busy talking about the recent campus election where lotz of nasty incidence had happened. (what happened in the campus were not of importance...). The conversation went on and on till we were at the end of dinner. We talked about places of fine dining and suddenly one of them suggested a place and said I shall bring CJ to dine there as it will be very romantic. CJ is one of my closest friend at university and I am always be seen to be together with her. Rumour has it that I like her and that we are a couple. (but who would ever know that I like guys and not gals) Then, MS asked me which type of gals I like and she said I suppose to like gals like CJ. I jz kept quiet, not responding to their questions. All of them ambushed me. MS even ask me when I would get married. I didn't answer. They cleverly make a conclusion that my silence means that I agreed to what they have said and my non-denial implies that I like CJ. How could I explain to them that CJ is only a close friend and I am actually gay? MS ambushed me again and looked at me trying to get an answer from me whether I like CJ. 'You've asked me the wrong question!' I replied MS. Does my answer impliedly told her that I'm gay? I didn't intend to signal her. But it jz happened. She didn't asked anything further. Paid our bills and went window shopping. I had already be ambushed by my other coursemates for several times. They jz can't let me go without me admitting that I like CJ. But the fact is that I'm gay and CJ is only a good friend of mine. Really don't know how to handle all those questions. (by the way, CJ is a beauty who a guy might fall in love at the first sight)
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don't be so hard on yourself, eh. all of us have gone through that particular phase. Once you're more comfortable in your own skin, these things don't really matter and could be warded off with just a shrug, simply. take time to relish in your true self and what you seek most that ultimately fulfils your happiness. Best wishes!
ReplyDeletemy sisters(and also my mum) always ask me that question. i just remain silent. I don't know how to tell them. *sigh*
ReplyDeletehahaha~ change topic instead~ it works sometimes~ divert that same question back at them! if me, i usually tell the person asking me that i am waiting for them and only will marry them... but cannot work on relatives lah~ LOL
ReplyDeleteyup, just be yourself and never feel pressured by others~! it is your own life to live!
ReplyDeleteHey, Julian. Once again we share the same situation.haha. Luckily they didnt ambush me, they just assume i like the gurl.
ReplyDelete