Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Mixed Feeling

Have you ever wonder about your sexuality?

Having nothing to do for the holidays leaves me an idle person. I have been thinking much about my sexuality especially after quarrelling with mom.

I remember I first fall in love with a beautiful girl (CJ) in my school when I was in Primary Six. At that time, CJ was in the class next to mine. For the following six years, she was in the same class with me. CJ was the 'school flower' (Chinese saying to describe the most beautiful girl in school). Later, my feeling for her eventually vanishes. I still had some liking for a few girls when I was in Form 1, not until the time in Form 2 when I discovered actually I like guys. It has ever been so since then.

But somehow lately I feel guity for what I am. I doubt my sexuality. I do not know why. Perhaps when you are to free, you tend to think too much. That's the only reason I can come up with.

I still doubt. Even though I have not been asking myself that question since I knew about it when I was 14. That question never crosses my mind, not until last week.

I really feel insecure and worried. What would be my future?

Who knows? I doubt no one would have an answer for that quandary. Only God knows.


Monday, May 11, 2009

Going Back Home

I'm now devouring a freshly baked chicken onion roll while sipping a cup of hot latte at Starbucks. Guess what? In one hour more, I will be sitting in a Fokker plane which will fly me back to my hometown up north. Guys, I shall write my next blog when I reach home safely. Ciao!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Finally Back

It has been a long hiatus. I'm back after a long battle in exam. At least now I'm rejuvenated having enjoying myself with trips and outing for a week after my disastrous exam. Basically, now I totally don't have any idea what to write here as you guys know that I have been absent for quite some time. Need to adapt myself to blog writing again. Of course it will take some time. I have a lot to share with all of you. Definitely much to catch up. To be frank, I don't know what to write. I think I am back to a beginner again. Hopefully in the next few days I will be able to blog something.

Till then, wait patiently! Haha.. :)

(Anyway, Happy Mother's Day! I love you, Mommy!)