Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Road Not Taken

I don't write as well as other bloggers do.
I don't update my blog as frequent as you do.
I don't decorate my blog as beautiful as others do.
To say that I'm busy
and don't have time is just an excuse.

I seldom dwell on my personal feelings,
at least not as explicit as other bloggers do.
I'm a person who doesn't reveal much.
Even my friends don't know much about my private life.
I don't just go around
and tell people what I did on last Saturday night
or who I went out with on Sun afternoon.

Loneliness has become my loyal companion since small.
Dad and Mom were busy with their careers.
And they don't actually know what's my feeling being left alone.
Perhaps they don't even notice it.
I'm always keep my feelings within myself.
I have been neglected by my parents and
I actually hate being in a home
where dad and mom aren't always around.
What I desire most is not material needs
but love and attention from my beloved ones.

A lot of people are surprised
when I said I haven't had a relationship before.
As shocking as it could be, this is a fact.
I never come out to anyone, not even my best friend.
How could people expect me to have a boyfriend then?
I know, people have a lot to say.

I thought I have finally found my perfect guy.
A person who I could rely on.
Who I could share my happiness and sorrow.
Who I will shower with love and affection.
Yes, I did find one finally.

I know I'm not as perfect as the ex is.
I hope you don't compare.
Of course, you like me
because you are attracted by some part of me.
I know sometimes I sound demanding,
but actually,
I couldn't demand much coz it's a two parties thingy.
After all, we haven't even started officially yet.
The feelings are mutual, isn't it?
I hope both of us could give each other a chance,
at least, before you say it wouldn't work.

I know you share a happy and wonderful memory with him.
And so do I hope we could write ours as well.
I know I might sound selfish,
but sincerely I just hope that I'm given at least a chance.
Even a day will be sufficient.

Sometimes, it really hurts
when you listen to something which you do not like,
or which you do not expect to happen.
But, reality is cruel at times.
Days aren't always sunny.

I hope I'm not just a guy to fill that lonely gap.
A lacuna as it is called in law.
You're the right guy,
(my perfect guy)
but somehow the timing isn't perfect,
at least that is what you think
(Am I correct?)
When I read Ken's blog just now,
somehow I could relate to what he said,
though I haven't being in a relationship before.

Ken wrote:
"What can I do when all the signs are telling me that you no longer want me?
I'm not slow, I'm in denial."
The context might be different.
But does it reflect the situation in which we're stuck now?
I hope it doesn't. I really hope so.

I sincerely hope you have faith in both of us.
I have strong faith
not only in myself, but also you.

it is something which will happen in the days ahead.
We wouldn't know what will happen.
Perhaps as predicted by the Mayan Civilisation
the world will come to an end in 2012.

Who knows?
We don't know what will happen in futute.
Only God knows.
Whatever will be, will be.
We will be together if it is destined to be so.
Let God decide.
Please don't give up hope
For I believe there is still a glimmer of hope.
Don't shoot down any chance
even before you know the ending
Give both of us a chance at least.

Even if the world comes to an end in 2012,
I still believe there is little hope of surviving.
At least, I hope I will be given the chance to be in the ark.
It's just the same theory which I wanna share with you.

I care for you more than you realise.
I have fall for you deeper and deeper everyday.
I wanna say the L word many times,
but I hold back, coz I'm afraid you will be scared off.
(But, I did remember I said it once)

I know you are afraid of being tired
in such a relationship.
You afraid that both of us will suffer.
But actually I'm not afraid.
Coz if I've committed into this relationship
I wouldn't mind making sacrifices.
I even think of going to the same place to further my studies.

Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.
I don't mean to put pressure on you in any means.
I just hope that you will understand my feelings.
Don't blame yourself,
coz I don't hope to see you suffer.
I won't hate you whatever happen in future
as you have an important place in my heart.
I will never hate you.

For now, I hope each day will be a better day.
It's not going to be an easy one.
But, like what Robert Frost penned,

"And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

*Dedicated to you, my special someone,

whom I feel affection for.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Like the colours of rainbow- SEPARATE BUT NOT APART

Whether you are male or female, old or young, healthy or handicapped, or perhaps in the context of our multiracial society- Malays or non-Malays, all of us are EQUAL.

Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgenders- we are like 'THE COLOURS OF RAINBOW, SEPARATE BUT NOT APART'.

Let us not discriminate people by sexuality, race, colour or creed. Instead, we shall celebrate and have pride in the diversity of which God had created.